Shades Of Gray
by MissingMommy
Summary: Blacks are a lot of things but never just black and white; there are shades of gray in there. Ch. 14 - Narcissa: Her life spins out of her control and she's desperate to gain control of it again.
1. Cedrella

_You think I'm weak – I think you're wrong_

Cedrella Black knows this shouldn't be what she was destined for, being disowned _and _blasted off the family tree. She just wasn't supposed to fall in love, much less with a blood traitor. She's a Black and Blacks _don't_ fall in love. And she's the perfect Black – but underneath the façade, she's not.

If she's being honest, she _isn't_ like every person to have the last name Black – calm, cold, collected. She's loud, outgoing, loving.

She realizes that she isn't destined to be the perfect Black as, "_Crucio_," falls from her mother's mouth. Fire has been set to her veins as her bones nearly break, but she doesn't give her mother the pleasure of hearing her cries.

If it's one thing Cedrella learned growing up, it's that crying shows weakness. And Cedrella _isn't_ weak.

**A/n- This was written for the Black Family Tree Challenge.**

_**Please, please don't favorite without reviewing.**_


	2. Callidora

_I'll come out stronger in the end_

Callidora stares at her sister as her mother ruthlessly tortures her with the _Cruciatus_ curse. She's proud that Cedrella doesn't cry out during her punishment. Blacks were supposed to be strong, powerful and that's exactly why Callidora and Charis are forced to watch – to make them strong.

Maybe it's to teach them a lesson – this is what happens when a Black falls in love. Blacks aren't meant to fall in love. They marry for the sole purpose of reproduction of the _Pureblood_ line; it's never for love.

Callidora knows she isn't going to follow in Cedrella's footsteps. She doesn't possess that type of strength it requires to go against everything you've ever known, against your _family._ So she doesn't argue with her parents as they marry her off to Harfang Longbottom within two weeks of Cedrella being disowned. She knows better.

**A/n- This was written for BraverStrongerSmarter :D There's more to come, darling (somewhere in the range of ten to fifteen). I hope you enjoyed.**

_**Please, please don't favorite without reviewing.**_


	3. Charis

_I can fake it all_

Charis Black looks around the Great Hall as she enters, a first year that is eager to learn. She suppresses a laugh as she watches the Muggle-borns start to worry about which house they'll be in. Her name is called amongst the first ten names and every _Pureblood_ at Hogwarts now knows that's she's from The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black.

She walks to the stool with grace that no other first year can manage. Her gray eyes finally find Cedrella and Callidora. She's not nervous – Blacks are never nervous.

As soon as the Hat touches her head, it screeches, "Slytherin." She gracefully sits beside her sisters, never betraying the excitement she feels that she has finally proven herself to her family.


	4. Lucretia

_Where is the passion when you need it the most?_

Lucretia Black doesn't marry for love. Her husband is a respectable _Pureblood_ in the eyes of her family. She doesn't even know him, but she has seen him around Hogwarts. He's not _that_ bad looking and, from what she hears, he's nice.

The first time that she really meets her husband is the day of their wedding. She's dressed in white as she glides down the aisle in a manner that only Blacks have been able to do. He is smiling from the altar and she's not so sure that she still wants to obey her family and marry a man she _barely_ knows.

But she marries him anyway.


	5. Isla

_I'd find a way to make it work_

Isla Black looks at the man that she gets to spend the rest of her life with, knowing that she couldn't keep her past a secret from him any longer.

"Bob, I am a witch," she says calmly. After the years of trying to define herself from her family, she's finally thankful that she inherited that trait.

"That is a great joke, Isla."

"I'm serious," she replies. The way she says it reminds her of her oldest brother, Sirius, who has long since passed away, and his very old joke – "You cannot be serious, because I am Sirius."

She spends the rest of the night trying to explain her past and the world of magic to the Muggle. In the end, she has to prove it to him in order for him to believe it.


	6. Phineas

_Let me shake up your world_

Phineas Black isn't easily swayed. It takes a lot to make him change his mind. One idea that he isn't willing to change to for anyone is: "Muggles have rights too."

Muggles aren't bad. He knows this because he spends a majority of his time with them. They don't ask details and he provides none. It's simple really.

He's honestly enjoys the company of a Muggle to that of _Purebloods_ because around Muggles he can be anyone he wants. But in his world, there isn't a person that doesn't know his name. What is he to expect coming from a family like his?


	7. Marius

_I can't believe I'm broken inside_

Marius Black watches his brother and sisters with envy, though he won't admit it to anyone else. They have already started to show signs of having magic abilities. But he hasn't. He's not sure why he doesn't possess the same abilities that his siblings have. He just knows that he doesn't like it.

He waits anxiously for his Hogwarts' letter after his eleventh birthday, but it doesn't come. His parents are furious; he's never seen them this angry before – not even when Cassiopeia ruined his father's favorite dress robes.

When the Headmaster informs his parents that his a _squib_, they lash out at him. He's never felt the _Cruciatus _curse before but it's burning him alive. His cries aren't heard by his parents, but he knows he cried out. After his parents are done, he's told to leave and never return.

He doesn't look back as he leaves.


	8. Dorea

_I can see it in your eyes_

Dorea Black's face is expressionless as she stares down at the grave before her. She shouldn't even be here, yet she is and still doesn't feel _a_ thing. He was her brother at one point and time. She should feel _something_, but she can't.

Marius was banished from her life a long time ago – nearly thirty years. So to her, it's no surprise that she can't feel the love she once felt for him. And the fact that she doesn't even _care_ that he's dead just goes to show her that she is a true Black. She can't feel anything.

Dorea doesn't visit her brother's grave again. She can't bear the reminder that she is practically emotionless.


	9. Alphard

_I know that you are wrong and this is not where you belong_

Alphard Black doesn't have any children. They're too much time and effort for him to be bothered with. He doesn't to worry about continuing the Black family name; that's what his younger brother, Cygnus, is for.

He inherits a lot of his money through dead family members that had taken a particular liking to him. Honestly, he didn't have to work a day in his life if he didn't want to. But he did work just for the sake of having something to occupy his time with – other than his nephew, Sirius.

He enjoys his nephew's company and decides that everything will go to Sirius when he dies. But Alphard isn't particularly happy when he finds out that Sirius has been disowned. Instead of allowing his favorite nephew to rely on only his friends, he sends Sirius a large amount of his wealth.


	10. Regulus

_You won't ask and I won't say_

Regulus Black has a talent for lying. He can make people believe every word he says. It's a gift really. It keeps him out of trouble. Unlike his brother, who has a knack for attracting trouble.

"No mother, I didn't break the vase. It fell on its own."

"I believe you."

"Sirius did it."

"You're no brother of mine!"

"I hate you."

They're all lies that he has told. Every time, he is believed, no questions asked. But now, the line between the truth and lies has long since been blurred. And Regulus doesn't know if he believes _himself_ anymore.


	11. Sirius

_This is gonna damn near kill me_

Sirius Black shivers as the cold air of wherever he is chills him. He closes his eyes tighter and tries to drift back to sleep, but it's useless. He can't seem to pull himself out of the nightmare he is having. But these nightmares couldn't even be classified as such because he has them whenever he is awake – he has them all the time.

And that makes him very angry; angry at himself for being weak and not being able to remember the happier times. But that's what Azkaban does to a person – takes everything and leaves them with nothing.

He feels a tear run down his cheek (it's not the first time he cries and it won't be the last) and he rubs it away hastily. From a young age, he learned Blacks don't cry. Maybe he isn't much of a Black after all.


	12. Andromeda

_I've never seen you fall so hard_

Andromeda Black sits in her living room, holding her grandson in her arm. Her two month old grandson, Teddy, cries out even as she rocks him back and forth. It's like the baby is connected to his parents; like he knows they are hurt. And if she's being honest, it's scaring her.

She's already lost Ted, she can't lose Nymphadora too – she's all that Andromeda has left. She fights back tears, trying to calm herself for the sake of Teddy. If she's upset, he'll get more upset than he is already.

It's well after four when a knock comes at her door. Before the words are out of the Auror's mouth, she knows what they are going to say. After they leave, she sits in the same chair she's been at all night. She cries until she doesn't think she has no more tears to cry. And then she is filled with rage.

Why does the world have to hate her so much? First they took Ted from her, now Nymphadora and Remus. Is this what she gets for defying her family and falling in love with Ted?


	13. Bellatrix

_Nothing to lose but everything to gain_

Bellatrix Black doesn't know the meaning of weakness. Her entire life she's been strong. She hasn't shown the slightest weakness. Not when Andromeda chooses some _Mudblood_ over her family. Not when she marries a man she doesn't love or watches her sister marry the man she does.

Maybe that's where her life went wrong – following blindly into her family's values and traditions. But she's loyal and wouldn't go against her family even if they lost the war. If she did, she would lose everything she's gained. And Blacks always get what they want in the end.

But her life has been plagued by darkness and she just happened to fall into it. Maybe, just maybe, she would've been happier if she married the man that she truly loved all along. But it's all over now and she can't change anything even if she wanted to – but she doesn't. She lived her life fully.


	14. Narcissa

_My secret side I keep hid under lock and key_

Narcissa Black doesn't understand why she defies the Dark Lord; she just does. She'll tell anyone that will listen it's because she loves her family too much to allow them to be torn apart. But she's not so sure that it's the truth. She weaves so many lies that the line between the truth and lies have long been confused.

It's not like she cares anymore since she's lost everything that's _ever_ mattered to her – her family, her control and her will. Without those, she's useless and hopeless. Her life spins out of her control and she's desperate to gain control of it again.

Maybe she isn't much different from Andromeda after all. She tries so hard to be like Bellatrix that she forgets that Andromeda_ is_ – and always has been – the better sister.


End file.
